Monthly Archives: March 2008

The legitimate affair……

I had gone for window shopping (may be some shopping too, if found something interesting) on one of the boring Sunday to the city (Bangalore) Mall along with 2 of my friends. I was in the showroom of the Westside, looking out for some T-shirts or Jackets. It was at that moment that my gaze fell upon a girl, who was just too beautiful, walking out of the trial room. She was around 5’10” in height, having probably blue eyes (jheel se neeleen aakhein), and long hairs (loose) and was wearing a white top along with a Jeans. I was just wondering that whether I should approach her or, just like my usual self, keep on looking towards her and end the affair over there. But then it happened in front of my eyes, the girl was walking towards a guy (handsome, rich), smiling, and at the instant I knew that they are BF-GF (as is famous in our lingo). Well then that was it.


Some days later I ws walking through the institute (IISc) to reach my lab. I was just looking around and I discovered that there are many pairs in the campus, strolling around. I was noticing the variety which was available in the pairs. The variety was in terms of the “looks”, yep the outer appearance. I found out that, instead of following a gaussian function, it was just too random. That is, it was not improbable for a better looking girl to have a not so good looking boy as a BF and vice-versa. Similarly a good looking girl (rarity) doesn’t always boast of a rich or good looking BF. So I concluded “Looks doesn’t Matter”.

When after the 2 month stint in Bangalore we came bk to IIT Guwahati, then this activity of mine had increased. I was always observing the trends. I found out that one of my friend (6 IIM calls + Yahoo job) has many friends (girls), as is highly probable, and that he also shares a soft corner towards one of them, even though I couldn’t account for the reasons. One of my Batchmate who is from Dhanbad keeps his IIT webmail password as: loveaditi. When asked about the same, he started telling me about his mushy feelings for her. To make the matters worse, I came to know about that one of my friend (who is from Bihar) made a GF, from Poland, during our trip to Ireland. Well I even uncovered that some guys were so restless that some of them have GFs in the city Guwahati, which is famous, nationwide, for its wide variety of chinks. Well, then the thing to conclude was “Love is omnipresent”.


If the things had not gone beyond the enduring powers of mine then, I found out that those who were unlucky enough, in terms of having any GF, were fast eloping to the other side of the fence. As can be seen by the fact (though highly improbable it might seem) that one of my friend got a call from some unknown number, 3 months bk. The girl introduced herself as his classmate, who got separated in Class 4th. Now they talk for 1-2 hours daily, on phone and their love has grown tremendously. Another one of my batchmate who is Departmental Rank 1 and with whom I used to believe that he would have to condescend to relate to this kind of specie, I discovered him in a cozy and secluded corner of one of the restaurants, along with a partner of the opposite sex. And now, I have came to the conclusion that there is a girl for everyone.

I was lamenting on the same conclusion for weeks together owing to the fact that yours truly has never got an opportunity to be on the opposite side of fence. And the nearest that one has been able to experience, are the vicarious feelings due to the innumerable romantic movies that one is a fan of. But thanks to TOI for providing this reprieve to me through an article which appeared some weeks before, titled something like “Haryanvi grooms head south”. Through this article, I was reminded about the pathetic situation of the girl-boy ratio that is prevailing in our country. This transferred all my burden of finding a girl for me on my antecedents who were irresponsible enough to have the conditions like female infanticide to reign.

And again I roam free and happy, armed with one more arrow in my quiver to salve me from those who try to plunge me into the deep pool of sorrow for not been able to make a GF which, as has been uncovered, is not even a fault of mine.

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The Inheritance of Loss


The books starts off on a note of happiness all around but ends with gloom overtaking everything. The book describes the story of Jemubhai, a typical Indian in the era of 1950s who goes for higher studies in UK, and encloses himself in the books and nothing else. This person turns into a conceited bastard and comes back to India with a great self-pride. He gets offended by the not-so-sophisticated manners of his wife and beats her up everyday and then forsake her and his only daughter.

The book also tells how Sai, a 16 year old girl, falls into love with her tutor, Gyan. The sweet moments shared by them have been described beautifully, the kissing, the touching, the cuddling, the nicknames, etc. But, then in the wake of Gorkhaland movement which started in Kalimpong, their love turns sour. Then the author describes wonderfully the nefarious breaking-up in which each of the person tries his/her best to detract the other. The incidents taken place in the past are used to justify their mudslinging, including the petty financial and moral aspects of each. Though, later on it is shown that both of them turn into guilty conscience.

The book describes how Biju, the son of the cook, wants to get a Visa for America like millions others. Then Biju reaches America, and the kind of life led by him over there is described. The equivocation faced by him on the fronts like holy cow, unholy cow, good Muslims, Bad Pakis, etc. The one room flat occupied by many, the ways in which to circumvent the authorities, the inability to walk into any departmental store, very high medical costs which cannot be afforded. Then in the climax, the author has shown that how, inspite of all these America is considered to be better than India. It is because of the lawlessness and poverty that prevails in India.

Then author has shown through the stories of Gyan, the injustice conducted on the part of minority ethnic groups of India. It has also shown the way in which Indian Police Force acts, the act of brutality against a drunkard who was taken up from the streets, was a result of their pent up anger. The book has also illustrated how poverty triumphs over wealth, through the case of Lola and Noni. Their house transformed into a shelter for the rioters without their consent. Towards the end, author is also successful in showing the grief caused by the lost of love, through the stealing of Mutt from Judge. Through this author has also shown the perverse face of Indian poverty.

In the end, all hell was broken loose. The guilt built up inside the cook, the Judge, and Sai were all pouring forth. The beating up of Cook by Judge through his slippers, even though Judge is not able to lift his hands, show the sadistic pleasure derived. This all has conjured up a great book, showing the various facades of grief (loss) and hence the name “The Inheritance of Loss”.

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Gafla (Scam) and Relations:

Stock Markets were the thing to which investors were sticking to resembling the ad of Fevicol ka Jod, and they are the things from which investors are fleeing away, not unlike the Jackal who runs toward the city on the roar of the lion. I am a novice in the field of investing in markets (not even started as of yet) but regarding the understanding of basic subtleties of investing, I think I have gathered some expertise. I will just try to express my opinion on some of the rumblings going on in the market.

First of all, I would like to tell you all that I watched the movie Gafla yesterday. Though they proclaim the movie as a work of fiction, but I (like many others) was able to relate it to the notorious scam undertaken by Harshad Mehta in 91-92. The movie deals with how a non-entity, with a bookish knowledge of the stock market, was able to corner a position for himself which deflated the wits of many stalwarts. The movie tells us that how โ€œsafe and secureโ€ investing can create wealth for you. The movie also illustrates that how the big players controlled the heights of the market. Harshad Mehta was able to keep the evil plans of these investors at bay and boosted the economy using the scrupulous money garnered from HDFC Bank, supposed to be deposited in government securities.

Now, letโ€™s come to the present market situation. The markets are running in a bear phase owing to the pressures from the subprime lending. Because of this, the credit rating of all industries is decreased and a liquidity crunch is eclipsing the markets. Also, the demand of consumer goods has declined owing to the gloomy outlook prevailing in the markets. This has led to a decrease in the borrowings by various firms for their operations, even though Fed has taken steps by reducing the lending rates to 3.5%. Fed is also providing the banks with loans worth billions at very low interest rates for solving the problem of liquidity crunch.

Fed is looking forward to providing each of the borrowers with some fiscal incentive so that they will be able to face the prevailing attitudes and help the markets to regain by spending some amount. And it is because of this speculation that Indian Market has seen a growth of more than 1000 points in the previous 2 days (although Sensex decreased 130 points today). You can see hue and cry from each sector, the zeal with which they are trying to convince the spectator that this is the right time for buying.

But according to me, the small rise in the economy is just spurious (and even reeks of scam ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) and the US markets will further deflate. This will take place due to the further housing crunch, inflation and various other reasons. So according to me the best thing to do now-a-days is to go short, or may be even deal in small intervals and save the dealings for long term investments for the month of May or start of June. Till then adios.

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Chicken – pak, pak, pakaik


Chicken – seems to be a very vague topic isn’t it. But Chicken is the word which is in vogue now-a-days and I think it can even win the award of most popular word of the year, hands down. Everywhere you seem to hear that vegan is the “in” thing but the verity is that the population of non-vegetarian (~90%) is greater than vegetarian population. Also the no. of people turning to non-veg is greater than those converting to veg. I joined this most beloved fraternity during my second year internship in Bangalore in July, 2006. I believe, the main impetus for the conversion is the delicious taste of “tandoori chicken” apart from others like – to try everything.


When we are discussing chicken from the eating perspective, then the main topic which strikes us is “Bird Flu”, which was a burning issue for whole of the last year. Bird Flu was prevalent in south-east Asian countries and because of which the export of chicken was disrupted and consumption ceased (declined) in most parts of the world. The infection started from countries like China and Vietnam, Japan and migrating birds are considered to be the cause of this virus. This outbreak resulted in culling of lots of infected birds and because of this many uninfected chicken also lost their life. So we can see for ourselves what is the fate of Chicken!!


Apart from this, I read a cartoon published in Times of India, a few days back. The cartoon showed two peacocks discussing that chicken is presented with the sacred title of National Bird of our country. The purpose of this cartoon was to ridicule upon the mute stance taken upon by Government of India while our neighbour China is using brute force and employing merciless killings to win over the area of Tibet. The beliefs on which India used to stand was nowhere to be seen. The vigor with which India rebuked the condition of Apartheid in South Africa or the dedication which India deployed while helping Bangladesh to project itself as a separate nation were truly commendable. Only the days will show whether India keeps its aloof stand towards Tibet or act upon its credos.


Chicken, well this is the only non-human being to which each and every human being is able to relate to. Consider a toddler who feels like a chicken when he/she is sent to school for no reason in particular. As he grows and reaches secondary school, he feels like a chicken in front of his friends/teachers/parents for being totally stupid (intellectually or by personality). When he reaches teenage, he feels like a Chicken, owing to the high expectations harboured by his parents (regarding his future) / girlfriend (regarding his bank balance ๐Ÿ˜› ). Further, he reaches the period of a professional when he feels like a Chicken owing to not being able to keep deadlines, not possessing a beautiful wife, or even a Lamborghini/Porsche about which he was dreaming right from his sophomore year.Then he reaches the age of parenthood, once again he feels like a chicken owing to excessive demands from his kids, and demand of a diamond necklace from yet another mistress. And thereafter, similarly he always leads the life of a chicken and then dies the death of a chicken too.

So this is our life – The Chicken Life – and the best to live this is in the manner of Chicken Little.

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Dynamic Personality – Too Banal to be dynamic….


Be it any interview, you will be asked one of the most commonplace question, what are your strengths and weaknesses? and as the question is trite, the answer is not any more innovative and you will often hear the reply as “have a dynamic personality”. So what does this dynamic personality signify? Does it represent a person who is capricious, reflecting frequent mood change? No, that can’t be a strength. Lets elaborate…….

Let me first of all make it clear to all of you that it is also one of my most favorite response. So how does I relate to this phrase. Lets see it like this, time is always flowing and with it everything else too. So to maintain an equilibrium with all other things, it is required of us that we keep on changing. You must be reading about job slashing that take place in MNCs on account of a position hold by some individual (or a group) is no longer consequential, every now and then. It was from a professional viewpoint, apart from that you can also observe its effect on personal front too. As you must have surely heard about the piling divorce cases, reasons for which are stated to be the rudimentary beliefs held by one or the other partner, from every nook and corner. So the rule to follow is that be dynamic, but the question is how?

How much dynamic should you be? For a computer science engineer graduated in 1990s, he should have been a coder and a programmer (read microsoft) during the early to mid 90s, a R&D personnel (read Google) during late 90s till 2004 and and then a web-developer and problem solver (read Wiki and Facebook) till now, to be understood as having an ultimate dynamic personality. How much dynamic am I? Well looking at this semester itself, I was playing Table Tennis for 3-4 hours daily in January, then Badminton in February and Tennis in March and I will be switching to Swimming next month. So you can see there is no timeframe for changing, but just your choice and never be satisfied.

How to be dynamic?? Get bored, yep thats the easiest way to possess a dynamic personality. I used to read Times of India (Newspaper) during initial phase of my life at IIT, then after an year I got bored with the same kind of news and all, and I shifted to Hindu and when I got bored with it too I shifted to Economic Times. Now-a-days I am reading both TOI and ET daily. For another example, I used to love watching Romantic Movies in 4th sem, Comedy Movies in 5th sem, Racing Movies in 6th sem, Action Movies in 7th sem and Serious (Art) Movies currently. But always keep in mind that whenever you are getting bored have an alternative in hand to which you are going to shift to. Like I used to go jogging in 3rd yr, then I got bored and switched to swimming in 7th sem and after that I am not going for nething this sm, n hv grown lazy.

So the Golden Rule: Get Bored, Get Dynamic.

And the advantages you are going to get from this trait, however banal it may seem:

  1. You will never lose your job, and possibly will be receiving promotions too.
  2. You will be a great boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, father/mother, et al.
  3. A great consumer, for you ll lap up every new gadget, automobile coming into market.
  4. Multifaceted, for this is a complementary attribute that you acquire from being dynamic.
  5. Last but not the least, giving the answer of that trite interview question will become a notch easier.
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Revelling in Captions

First of all, I want to tell you all that I am the Batch Representative of my Biotech Department. My official responsibilities ask me to perform very few roles and that too in academic settings mainly. But unofficially (and that is how I like to work), I am the person who is understood to take lead in any event be it time-table management, organization of parties, or any other discussions. So last week, I was accosted by a friend of mine with the proposal that we should go for a Batch T-Shirt (Sweat Shirt) and the next moment I was sending a group mail regarding the same.

So last friday night we had a meeting regarding the same. Now our dept. is sort of divided into two factions. One of those who love the department (read bio) and are going for higher studies and others of those who hate it. So the main point of contention regarding the batch T-shirt was whether to choose a caption related to bio or not. Some of the bio related captions were:

  1. Lost in Translation ( Translation is mRNA -> Protein) , with DNA helix running on sleeves.
  2. DNA helix made up of mathematical symbols and beneath it, Formula for Life……..

And similarly, the anti group had their captions like:

  1. Biotech – No – Logic (from Biotechnology)
  2. A Pic of a Cat coming out of an Egg and beneath it, We never studied Bio.

As the rivalry between these two groups was growing, one person presented us with an ultimate three letter word (read “Ram Ban”) which led to formulation of new captions. The word is “Got” and the captions were:

  1. Got Mutated!
  2. Got Evolved!
  3. Got Differentiated!

Though these captions acted as the pacifier but they were considered too cliche or lame by many including me. So the meeting ended with the captions from all the three groups, and I suggested that if we are going to discuss all the captions through meetings, then it will take a helluva lot of time. So I ordained (:P) to have further discussions on Orkut community and posted the topic for the same.

Now, some of the guys who were not present in the last meeting came up with new ideas and those were:

  1. Tombstone with engravings 2004 – 08 and beneath it, R.I.P i.e., Rest in peace.
  2. A phoenix holding a scroll with Bio 04 written on it and beneath it, Reborn from the ashes.

Now, the tombstone idea was giving negative connotation (with the kind of caption) as per some. So I modified the caption to “Lived My Life” and after haggling a lot over that whether it is giving negative connotation or not, we have reached a decision to conduct another batch meeting and it is scheduled at 10 tonight. Lets see what evolves……

P.S.: Since the tombstone idea is the favorite till now, so I am attaching the pics to give a look to you.front.jpg


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My IIMK Interview…..

Date: 26th February

The interview was gone just like I wanted it to be, I will not b selected but I hv learnt (:) ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ )…..

My Profile: B.Tech in Biotechnology (8.61 CPI) from IIT Guwahati, going to graduate this yr….

CAT ’07, Total: 99.05
Quants: 96.01
DI: 98.53
Verbal: 93.94

I reached the center at 1:15 pm. The interview process was going to start from 2 pm. So I just fooled around and came to know that max. of the participant were from IIT D and the others were also from some IIT or NIT. Anyways at 2 the panelists came and sorted us out into diff. panels, I was in panel 2 with 8 others, 1 was absent.

GD: We were given a paragraph on certain effects taking place due to climate change (2mins for thinking, 12 min for discussion). Participated effectively, gave some cool points like:

  • not to discuss whether climate change is taking place or not
  • CO2 -> Fuel
  • Nuclear Energy
  • Wind Energy
  • Biofuels
I was the 3rd one according to the sitting order to be called in for interview. There were two panelists
Male Prof (MP): Dr. Pritibhushan Sinha
Female Prof (FP): Dr. Sweta Srivastava Malla
and yours truly (YT)
I entered the interview room and was told to sit down by MP
FP: If we convert your name to English, what will it be called?
YT: Madam, ………. seed (after trying to think abt the first word)
FP: Will it be seed?
YT: No, Madam actually I am not able to recall the first word (Fuck, fuck, fuck ๐Ÿ˜ฆ )
FP: Sprouts??
YT: Yes Madam, Germinated Seed ( ๐Ÿ™‚ )
FP: Hmmm…. Ankur, So tell me smthing abt Stem Cell Technology…
YT: undifferentiated cells, can be grown to convert into any cell type…..
FP: So is it ethical to use the technology…
YT: No Madam, actually we can create super humans through this, and also we are playing God by cloning etc….
FP: Do you know what is the source of Stem Cells??
YT: Trying to think…… Not able to remember Madam….
FP: Ok, you have written in your form that gentle breeze flows early in morning. Tell me why is breeze gentle in morning ???
YT: (????) Madam, because Sun is not there so air is not charged due to heat waves…
FP: hmmmmm, Ok, so tell me the Basket of Commodities for calculating Inflation??
YT: (????) Basic items like Food, Petrol and others..
FP: Are you guessing??
YT: (What else can you think of?) Yes Madam, we have not read abt it in economics course….
FP: Ok, What were you taught..
YT: tell abt the things, starting frm 1st sem (had done 4 eco courses)
FP: Ok, What is HDI??
YT: Madam it is an average of Literacy Rate, and…………. smthing related to death…. Madam, actually it contains three indexes which I am not able to recall……
FP: What is relation between inflation and demand??
YT: Inflation is caused due to a increase in demand and decrease in supply but if there is a increase in price, then supply will increase and demand will decrease…..
FP: Ankur you dont know anything, you hv superficial knowledge..
YT: Try to explain it…..
FP: (Looks convinced) Ok tell me smthing abt Public Distribution System
YT: Blah blah…..
FP: What is the poverty line, in money terms??
YT: Blah Blah, 1$ and Rs.20 in India.
FP: Is Poverty line calculated as per expenditure or income?
YT: Income (I am with stupid)
FP: what is wage per day of a laborer in India
YT: Rs. 100
FP: So why is so much poverty in India
YT: Seasonal unemployment, Unemployment due to extra workers….
FP: nodding..
FP: to MP (ishaare se)……
MP: Ankur, so you hv done a course in Numerical Solutions of a PDE. Write a 3D-wave equation…
YT: After thinking…… 3D, sir we hv not studied 3D wave equation
MP: How could it be possible, Ok what equation hv you read….
YT: Write an equation which is similar to 2D wave equation….
MP: k, write any equation with 2 variables whose solution is known to you
YT: Tell smthing abt an equation frm course of ElectroMagnetics and its solution
MP: If you hv done Electromagnetics course, you must hv studied 3D- wave eqn. Ok so you hv done a course in probability, what is pdf. and asks some questions related to it…
YT: A big blunder, get confused b/w pdf and PDE.
MP: Asks 2-3 questions related to probability
YT: Able to answer just one of them, try to answer other but futile efforts…..
MP: An arbit question…..
YT: Able to answer
MP was also giving lengthy explanations to every of my answers and gave to it also….
MP: Thank you Ankur
YT: Thank you Sir, Thank you Madam………
Got out, got relief……..
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