Life is too short to be pissed off all the time – American History X.
He was feeling let down, the path ahead too treacherous to be followed, but he has to take the last shot. It is not that this will decide his fate to live or die, but it is surely gonna decide whether he is going to play (in future) or not.
He aims for it, loses by a margin, just a bit more. The world is against him, he can sense the invisible forces trying to pull him down, he is losing his intensity. But he has to try, again, gives it his all, loses balance, efforts gone astray, something is fishy over here. Others are laughing, they cannot understand the gravity of situation, they are just too menial, he will show them, he will show them that he is able, its them who are going to lose, not him. He shouts at them, laughter increases, are they real, they seem to be, but he has to forgo them, he has to forsake all, only then he will reach his goal.
But the path is too treacherous. He retrospects, he never wanted to come in the first place, and they knew, but he didn’t, maybe he will understand now, he could have never thought. Just let it over, he will never let it happen again, just let it over. He looks back further, a clue, something which can help, yes it occurred that day, he had fought, done it over, but he had help, he was in his own territory, this is different, they have cheated him. He comes back, not to present, to previous phase, their they are, snivelling, he abhors them, those filthy, grimy, slick, rotten things, they will come again, to feast upon him, and he won’t deny them, to devour themselves, but he wants just one thing now, the end. Bring it over, but how…..
Again, he tries, laughs, no, not on achieving, on missing, it has become his part, why did he come, no, this cannot be happening to him, he loves them, he wants to be there, among them, leave it, the thoughts, he has to attain, the goal. The order has changed, he was there, he can see, but, they were not here, he can understand now, they were never here, they were always with him, sticking to him, close behind him, and then they forced him, to reach here. It is clear, now. He feels it, lonely, betrayed, he pukes, he can feel it, the intensity, he wants to chase it, he has to anyways.
The last shot, here he is, the path is too short now, he is going to clear, its just his view. Finally, he tries, the ball is going, going, it has cleared, not too far off, he jubilates, he has got it, he has won. He opens his eyes, looks around, he is not there, they are not with him, they are still there, he is somewhere else, he has gone behind, and there is no way to clear it now, he has failed.